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Stop Comparing Yourself To Strangers On The Internet

Social media is often a place where people share their highlights. Their best bits, their happiest memories, the parts they're proud of. They give the impression that their lives are perfect, beautifully encapsulated in pretty, edited (and sometimes filtered) squares.


It's not usually a place where people share their darkest days, their worst moments, the photos where their houses look like Thing 1 and Thing 2 from The Cat In The Hat have run riot. Because of this, you can (often subconsciously) begin to compare your life to the ones you see online.


If you're not in a great place mentally (or even if you are!), this can be really damaging. You could compare your real life to someone else's highlight reel, and start tearing yourself down:


"They can do it, why can't I?" "I wish I was like them." "I wish my face/body/house looked like that." "Why isn't my life like that?" "How do they do it all?" "They're doing this - should I be doing that too?"


You could be comparing your whole life, warts and all, to something that isn't even real... or that isn't the real story or the whole picture. When you look at someone else's Instagram, you don't see how they're really feeling or what they might be going through.


Your favourite creators could be posting the most beautiful photos, in the most amazing places in the world, with the most expensive outfits and makeup and jewellery... they appear to have it all, the perfect life, 'living the dream'.


But are they truly happy? Are they struggling? Is it really as easy as it looks? You don't see the hard work it's taken them to get there, the days when they've considered giving up, the tears they may have cried, the things they may be dealing with behind the closed doors.


So, even though it's hard, it's really important to try not to compare yourself! Remember that there is no set time to do anything in life; you have to go at your own pace.


The only person you should be comparing yourself to is your past self, and only to look back and see how far you've come and how much you've grown!


Take the photo below for an example: a year ago, I was terrified to wear certain clothes (anything tight fitting, crop tops, anything that showed my arms etc), to have my photo taken, for people to look at me and judge me. I had no self-esteem and no confidence. I wanted so desperately to create content, take photographs, film videos, write blog posts and be creative, but I didn't for so many years because I was scared of being laughed at and ridiculed.


Flash forward to a year later and I have so much more confidence, I've stepped out of my comfort zone and I'm concentrating on living my life for myself by doing things I've always wanted to do!

How do you stop yourself when you realise you're comparing yourself to others online?



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12 comentários


Convidado:
22 de ago. de 2021

Love this post Jemma. Everything you say is true, what most people post online is a ‘highlight reel’. I’m pretty good at reminding myself of that when I see so many ‘Insta-worthy’ images on my social media timelines. I find most of my comparisons are with other bloggers. I feel like my blog just isn’t really growing, so when I see others doing well I start comparing myself and wondering what I’m doing wrong. Everyone’s journey is different though, so I know I just need to concentrate on my own. But it can be difficult at times.

www.jaclynisticvibes.com

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Jemma
Jemma
04 de set. de 2021
Respondendo a

Thank you so much Jaclyn! Instagram is full of insta-worthy, highlight reel moments... I'll be honest, I'm guilty of it myself 🙈 Oh that's so sad! It's easier said than done, but you said it yourself - everybody's journey is totally different! Everyone will experience different ups, downs, obstacles to overcome - and sometimes just because it seems like everything is going well, doesn't mean it truly is in every aspect of someone's life x

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Convidado:
14 de ago. de 2021

Great post! I completely agree with you that the only person you should ever compare yourself to is your past self. It's definitely easier said than done!


https://www.femaleoriginal.com

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Jemma
Jemma
14 de ago. de 2021
Respondendo a

Thank you so much! Definitely easier said than done, and I still sometimes catch myself doing it! Thank you for reading and commenting :) x

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Convidado:
14 de ago. de 2021

This is such a great post. I've fallen victim to the comparison trap so many times. Nowadays I don't really care so much. I take lots of social media breaks and don't feel guilty about it anymore. It's taken a while to get to this stage though.

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Jemma
Jemma
14 de ago. de 2021
Respondendo a

Thank you so much! Me too - it's hard to get out of and often times you don't even realise you're doing it. It does take a while to stop caring about taking breaks and to stop worrying that you're not doing what others are. Thank you for reading and commenting :)

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Kamuanya Designs
Kamuanya Designs
12 de ago. de 2021

Very well said!! I take many breaks weekly from browsing other creators/people's social media pages, and focus on my own. Whenever I get that feeling creeping up that something is wrong with me, that I am behind in a way or another, or that I "can't ever" get somewhere I want to get in my business, I stop everything.


I recognize it much sooner now than I did at first, and it has helped me tremendously to just cut everything off when I realize it and only focus on my grid. I go back to my early IG days and see how I used to post, how my pictures were, how my art was, then I feel so proud of…


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Jemma
Jemma
14 de ago. de 2021
Respondendo a

Thank you Sandra! That's a great idea - it's like the phrase "Water your own grass!" I'm so glad to hear that you're getting into the groove and are so confident in just stopping when you need to to reflect and regroup :) Creating is so much more than what you share on Instagram! Thank you so much for reading and commenting 😘 x

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Convidado:
12 de ago. de 2021

Comparing ourselves to others in this way can be so upsetting and rob of us of the joys we have in our own life because we no longer see them as valid. Thanks for writing this -- more people need to speak up and remind us that social media often only represents someone's "highlight reel". It it inspires and encourages us then I'm all for it but not if it ends up being something that brings us down. Great post! | Molly @ transatlanticnotes.com

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Jemma
Jemma
12 de ago. de 2021
Respondendo a

You're so right! We don't see our successes in the same way as someone else always appears to be doing better... it can really demotivate you and stop you from enjoying your own life as you can constantly strive to get better and reach the next goal to be in competition with others, without taking the time to recognise your own achievements. I completely agree with you - I think inspiration is great, but I love the 'real life' stuff that people share on Instagram, those things that make them human. That's what makes me really engage with somebody and their content! Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Molly 💕 x

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