This feels SO weird to be writing this! As I'm writing this, the only person who knows I'm pregnant is B, because we haven't told anyone yet. By the time this post goes live, though, all of our family and friends will know and it won't be a secret anymore! Also, my I Have Some News... post should also be up on here and I'll have shared the news on Instagram too.
I thought I'd document the journey on here as my blog has sort of become like a diary for me. I also thought I'd share my experience as I've found it incredibly overwhelming, and I know I've found a lot of comfort in reading other people's experiences during what can be a very lonely time. I've felt happy, terrified, excited, anxious all at once, and I currently feel like I can't let myself get too excited in case something awful happens...
So, as I'm beginning to write this post, the date is Tuesday 21st December - 6 days after we found out on 15th December. Ironically, that was also the day I tested positive for COVID! Positive tests all round...
After being on the pill for around 10 years, my periods have become very regular. Although I haven't been on the pill for 2 years, my periods were still like clockwork and I could predict them down to the exact day. I use the app Clue to track my cycles (not for any reason other than just to know!), so when I realised I was 8 days late, I knew it must be something. I took a test and immediately it came up positive. I was shocked, but really happy. I'd had cramps, but I'd assumed that was a sign that my period was coming! I told B (I told him to close his eyes and handed him the test) and he was equally as excited/nervous/happy. I ended up doing a couple more tests just to be sure!
Later that same night, I also took a COVID test which was also positive! I was more scared than I would have been now I knew I was pregnant, so I began Googling to find out if it was particularly dangerous to catch COVID in the first trimester, and even rang 111 the next day just to see if I needed to take any extra precautions.
This week, my symptoms were: nausea (I completely went off food), back pain (especially at night), the cramping I already mentioned and absolute exhaustion, although this could have also been a symptom of COVID. I'm not sure if my complete lack of appetite was due to the pregnancy or that I'd lost my smell and taste due to COVID! Luckily, as I was isolating, it meant I could use the time to rest and to really wrap my head around the news.
This was Christmas week! We'd decided that, with the timing of everything, we were going to tell our families on Christmas Day. It seemed like the perfect time! I bought a gift box and filled it with fake snow, bought a book called 'It's a Little Baby' and popped in (just a few of) my pregnancy tests. We were with my family on Christmas Day, so we'd planned to tell B's family on Boxing Day. On Christmas Day, we waited for the perfect time to tell everyone, which ended up being at around 5:30 that night. I asked everyone to stand by the Christmas tree so we could get a family photo (which we did actually get!), and then B filmed as I gave them the box. They were so shocked! It was honestly such a magical moment that I'll never forget. We then ended up telling the rest of my family later that night (because my mum wouldn't have been able to keep it a secret!), and told B's family the next day. Everyone was so excited!
My symptoms this week were: exhaustion (again), REALLY cold hands and feet and nausea.
My symptoms this week were: nausea (a running theme) and I had my first sickness (which I actually think was because I'd waited too long before eating). This week I was desperate for Dairylea cheese spread sandwiches!
My symptoms this week were: a weird taste in my mouth, an odd twitch in my right leg, feeling very bloated and exhaustion. This week I couldn't get enough of potato cakes!
My symptoms this week were that I was feeling very uncomfortable at night but then a sudden loss of symptoms. I immediately went out and bought another test, which was positive, but I felt very paranoid and scared that something was wrong. If you are ever in this situation - do not read any pregnancy/mum forums! They made me feel worse and panic more.
I still didn't have any symptoms this week, which again made me worry. Nothing else really to report!
I STILL don't have any symptoms this week, and I'm really really starting to panic. I'm looking forward to my 12 week scan, but I'm also really nervous in case my lack of symptoms means something is wrong. However, I seem to have developed a proper bump this week. I look physically pregnant and have had to wear really baggy clothes at work just in case anyone suspects anything!
Hello! I'm now 12 weeks pregnant, and this should be the time that we start telling people after checking everything's okay once we've had our scan. Unfortunately, our scan isn't till next week, so we need to wait a little while longer. I still don't have any symptoms, but my tummy is now hard and has definitely popped.
We've had our scan! Thankfully, everything was absolutely fine and Baby Maguire was wiggling away happily, whilst face planting in my uterus. It's definitely ours! Unfortunately, B had caught COVID, so he couldn't come to the scan with me. Luckily my mum was able to come with me, and it was such a magical experience to share with her. I was SO nervous and felt so sick before going in... and it felt like such a long wait in the waiting room, even though it was only about 10 minutes! The ultrasound technician put the gel on and turned the screen away from me while she checked everything over, and said, "Yep, I can see baby and its heartbeat is going strong!" She then turned the screen towards me and I saw our little miracle for the first time, moving its arms and legs and its heart beating. I just looked at my mum through tear filled eyes and saw her welling up too. It was such an incredible moment.
Symptoms wise, I've started having really painful calves this week. I even had to sit down whilst B was at the checkout when we did our full shop the other day because the pain was unbearable! Other than that, I've been absolutely fine. I still can't stay up much later than 10pm and I just feel tired a lot of the time, but I usually feel pretty tired most nights with being a teacher anyway.
And now we're up to date! I'm so glad the first trimester is over, because it really is such a weird, lonely, confusing time (as well as being amazing, of course). It's just so strange that you wait so long to be seen by anybody, and if you decide not to tell any of your family and friends until your scan, it can be incredibly scary!
I'm so thankful that everything with baby is okay and for all of the lovely messages and comments I've had on here and on Instagram. I'm going to write another post about my first trimester essentials, and I'll definitely keep the pregnancy diary going throughout the rest of my journey! Let me know if you have any recommendations for things I need for the second trimester, or any other advice if you have any :)